My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
