Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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