I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
