I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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