Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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