I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
