Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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