If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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