my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
