the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pooping to opera.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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