Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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