Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
