He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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