just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
