Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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