Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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