cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
