Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize