I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
