friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
