just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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