I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize