my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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