It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize