No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
