My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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