Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
