ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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