Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
