well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's shark week go big or go home
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
