forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
