There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
