dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
