he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i drank out of a bidet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
