As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
