I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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