I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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