It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
