He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
