She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
