I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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