sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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