This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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