Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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