Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
