She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
