Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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