I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
