It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
