No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
