I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
