u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
