He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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