I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
