CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
