I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
