im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
