dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
