i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
