He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
