Welp...herpes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
