hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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