Your face is a jimmy john
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
