Kiss
Puke
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
