I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
