Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
