I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
