Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
