Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
